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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Final Thoughts on The Artist's Way

I'm very proud of myself for having completed the Artist's Way. It feels odd to say "completed" because I know that there are activities left undone, morning pages skipped, and artist's dates lost in the bustle of the week. I even embrace this imperfection, because when I re-visit it there will plenty more for me to discover and devour.

As promised, I have a photograph of my finished sacred space I had sketched out earlier:

I haven't gotten the meditation cushions yet, and I'll add more trinkets to the little bench as they come to me. Right now, the only thing there is my God Jar, the little gold box. It's a place I can go to ask "What next?" or "Why bother?" and to deposit tokens of gratitude and grains of hope. Yes, that is a red mosquito net. You may think it is weird that I actually have and am using a red mosquito net, but I bet, secretly, you kind of wish you did too. You should honor that wish.

Often times, my own affirmations sound contrived and wrong - too weak to overcome my deepest, most negative thoughts. One night, at dance class, I was feeling especially down on myself, specifically about my spinning. I am a true follower when it comes to dancing, and so when I am asked to do a 360 on my own, I get clumsy and wobbly. My teacher recognizes this as a mental block rather than a physical one, and as I pivoted back and forth, he repeated encouragingly, "you are stable ... you are stable." Then I realized that he was right. I am stable. I can spin; I can express my beautiful, unique self through movement and the things I make.

I can't say I necessarily came out of this a great artist, or even a better artist. I am feeling more aware of small miracles, more attentive to my inner artist, and I am trying to take the time and care to be nicer to myself. In fact, in some ways, I am totally spoling myself and I don't even feel guilty about it!

8:25 PM   0 comments

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